 | |
| cuz everybody looks this good after suffering a huge existential crisis, right? |
i'm currently on the phone with the foodstamp guys, trying to get my account straightened out. yes, i know how that sounds. i do indeed suck in that i can't get a better job that pays me enough money to survive and gives me benefits, but i've been looking and applying for years, and walmart has been the best i've been able to do so far. you have a better job you want to give me, go ahead and judge me after i've turned it down. i won't, promise. try me.
my current time on hold is 22 minutes, waiting to speak to a "phone agent". you would not believe how hard it is to find anything like a real human being to talk to.
how to put my thoughts into words?
the point of this blog right now, for me, is to open my life to the fresh air. what that means, i think, is that i want to yank off the bandaid and expose all the rotten crap i've been holding on to so that it all heals up.
maybe what i'm trying to say is, if there are parts of my life i don't want to expose to the open air and to public view, i don't want those things to be part of my life? not sure. this is going to take some thinking.
i don't mean, by the way, that i'm going to bare all aspects of my personal life. i'm not going to tell the world about my sex life, except in that i have one, and it's open and honest and hopefully as abundant as possible.
i couldn't even begin to tell you whether or not this is a valid method of doing anything. at 48, i feel like i'm allowed some room to experiment. i am certainly allowed the right to make mistakes without being judged for them.
 |
| baby steps, y'all. baby steps... |
ok, finally off the phone. after all that, i was 35 minutes on hold, only to be told by the lady on the phone that my case had been closed and i need to reapply.
*sigh*
went to the website, reapplied, and now i wait for them to contact me. that will probably be in about a month.
yesterday i went to santa clara valley med center to try and get my health care coverage issues worked out. it takes me $20 in gas every time i go there, round trip, because i'm driving my huge old diesel pickup. i got there, waited in line and then was told i didn't have the right paperwork. i almost started crying right there at the front desk, but then i turned around and marched myself right out again and just drove home. no point at all in raging against that particular machine. it would be like schmacking a t-rex with a rolled-up newspaper. you're not going to get anything done any faster, and the t-rex, if it noticed you at all, would just eat you alive.
accomplishing anything productive with a government agency is like trying to build the hoover dam with handfuls of damp sand out of a beach bucket. every step forward takes forever, two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back, and just when you think you've gotten something accomplished, the water surges up and washes away about half your work.
on with my to-do list.
baby steps, y'all...
toodles.
No comments:
Post a Comment